Age is only a number
This question keeps popping up, so clearly the universe is poking us with a well-manicured finger.
Is age only a number?
How old is too old for love?
And who, exactly, gets to decide?
Here’s my hot take: if everyone involved is a consenting adult, age is not the villain we keep casting it as. Power imbalances? Yes, we interrogate those. Emotional maturity? Absolutely. But a birthday gap alone? Not guilty.
Kai, for instance, does not exactly breeze through the math when it comes to Holland.
Changing out of a suit and into jeans earlier, I felt like a blundering teenager getting ready to pick up a girl for our first date. Parking my sixty-year-old car on the street, I curse myself for being a dirty old man scamming on a girl half my age.
She is not half my age, I remind myself. I’ve done the math. She’s half my age, plus seven years. And according to the internet, that’s just about right. Right? I’ve been with younger women before. Hell, I’ve been with women younger than Holland. This is different.
— Kai, Holland, My Heart
(Reader, it is different. That’s the point.)
I was chatting about this with a very wise woman recently—my friend, a retired English teacher who grew up deep in a devout church culture—and she casually dropped this gem: Kai is probably significantly older than Boaz would have been.
Touché, ma’am. Fair point. No notes.
So if you’ve been quietly wondering, here’s the unofficial answer key from my writing notes 🤓:
Naomi: 55
Kai: 40
Holland: 27
Ximena: 23
Now. If your TBR is whispering but make it age gap, I’ve got you covered.
Hopeless by Elsie Silver, narrated by Jason Clarke & Angelina Rocca (She’s 22; he’s 35.)
Praise by Sara Cate, narrated by Jack Calihan & Vivienne LaRue (She’s 21; he’s 40.)
All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata, narrated by Amanda Ronconi & Sebastian York (She’s 33; he’s 42.)
So no, age isn’t nothing. But it’s also not everything. Context matters. Care matters. Choice matters.
And if the love story works?
If the respect is real?
If the consent is enthusiastic and mutual?
Then let the numbers sit quietly in the corner and mind their business.
What’s the best age gap romance you’ve read?
